Crisis Protocols

(Or: "How to survive when everything’s on fire and your CFO just quit over WhatsApp.")

6.1 Govt Raid (Income Tax/GST/Factory Inspector)

+ RISK COVERAGE (INSURANCE)

What It’s All About:

"A govt raid is like a surprise exam where failing means fines, jail, or your face in the news under ‘Scam Uncovered.’"

💡 Why It Matters:

• Common Triggers:

o Cash transactions (over ₹2L)

o Mismatched GST filings

o Employee complaints (labour/sexual harassment cases)

• Immediate Risks:

o Seized documents/laptops (you won’t get them back for months)

o Media leaks (even if you’re innocent, reputation damage is instant)

🔥 Horror Story:

A Noida startup got raided for ₹50L "cash receipts"—turned out to be a disgruntled ex-CA’s fake complaint. 3 months of ops frozen + 20% client churn.

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6.1.1 Awareness Level: "Are You Raid-Ready or a Sitting Duck?"

Question: "If officers barge in right now, do you…"

Answer Options:

1. 😱 "Cry and call dad?" (Clueless) → "You’re toast."

2. 🤔 "Panic-search ‘what to do during raid’ on Google?" (Vaguely Aware) → "Too late. They’re already imaging your hard drive."

3. 🛠️ "Have a lawyer’s number on speed dial." (Basic Prep) → "Better than nothing."

4. 🔧 "Trained team + encrypted backups." (Proficient) → "You’ll sweat but survive."

5. 🛡️ "Mock raid drills twice a year." (Expert) → "Are you ex-IRS?"

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6.1.2 Impact Assessment: "How Bad Can a Raid Get?"

Question: "Worst-case fallout of a raid?"

Answer Options:

1. ❌ "We’re a tiny SaaS—no cash, no risk." (Low Risk) → "Unless you’ve misclassified employees as ‘contractors.’"

2. ⚠️ "2 days of chaos + minor fines." (Annoying) → "Like a ₹50K penalty for missing a register."

3. 🔥 "Bank accounts frozen + ops halted." (Business Killer) → "Delhi startup took 6 months to recover."

4. 💀 "Jail time + business shut down." (Existential Threat) → "Ask the Pune builder who ‘forgot’ TDS on ₹5Cr payments."

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6.1.3 Gap Bridging Plan: "From Panic to Protocol"

Question: "If you’re unprepared, how will you fix it?"

Answer Options:

1. 📚 "Read CBDT raid guidelines + train team." (DIY Fix) → "Minimum viable prep."

2. 👔 "Retainer lawyer (₹25K/month)." (Smart Money) → "They stall while you call the big guns."

3. 🤝 "Crisis PR firm on standby." (Reputation Saver) → "For when news channels camp outside."

4. ⚡ "EMERGENCY: Secure backups + call lawyer NOW." (Triage Mode) → "If you smell a raid coming."

5. 🙅 "Ignore it—we’re ‘too small’ for raids." (Future Netflix Documentary Star) → "Famous last words."

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6.1.4 What Next:

"Action Steps:

• Designate a ‘Raid Point Person’ (usually CFO/legal head).

• Keep digital backups (encrypted)—raid teams can seize physical files.

• Train staff: "Don’t argue, don’t lie, call lawyer ASAP."

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6.2 Payroll Shortfall (When You Can’t Pay Salaries)

(Or: "How to avoid employees burning the office down.")

What It’s All About:

"Missing payroll is the fastest way to turn loyal teams into mobs. But sometimes, cash flow screws you. Here’s how to not die."

💡 Why It Matters:

• Legal Risk: Employees can sue for non-payment + 18% interest.

• Morale Killer: 1 missed salary = 3 months of distrust.

• Domino Effect: Top talent quits → clients panic → death spiral.

🔥 Horror Story:

A Bangalore edtech startup delayed salaries by 15 days—5 key engineers quit overnight, killing a ₹2Cr client deal.

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6.2.1 Awareness Level: "How Close to Payroll Disaster Are You?"

Question: "If payroll’s due tomorrow and your account’s empty, do you…"

Answer Options:

1. 😱 "Pray for a miracle?" (Clueless) → "Start drafting your ‘goodbye LinkedIn post.’"

2. 🤔 "Beg investors for a bridge loan?" (Vaguely Aware) → "They’ll demand 2x equity."

3. 🛠️ "Cut non-salary costs first (travel, bonuses)." (Basic Prep) → "Band-Aid on a bullet wound."

4. 🔧 "Have a 3-month payroll buffer." (Proficient) → "You sleep well at night."

5. 🛡️ "Revenue covers salaries 6 months ahead." (Expert) → "Are you bootstrapped or a magician?"

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6.2.2 Impact Assessment: "How Bad Is a Payroll Miss?"

Question: "Consequences of late salaries?"

Answer Options:

1. ❌ "We’re a solo founder—no employees." (Low Risk) → "Just your mental health at stake."

2. ⚠️ "Team grumbles but stays." (Annoying) → "If it’s a one-off with apology beers."

3. 🔥 "Key resignations + social media shame." (Talent Killer) → "Glassdoor reviews don’t lie."

4. 💀 "Mass exodus + lawsuits." (Existential Threat) → "See: 90% of failed startups’ obituaries."

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6.2.3 Gap Bridging Plan: "From Broke to Backup"

Question: "If you’re short, how will you cover payroll?"

Answer Options:

1. 📚 "Negotiate delayed salaries (brutal but honest)." (Hail Mary) → "Only if team trusts you."

2. 👔 "Emergency overdraft (₹10L at 18% interest)." (Costly Fix) → "Better than losing people."

3. 🤝 "Advance payments from loyal clients." (Smart Hustle) → "Offer 5% discount for urgency."

4. ⚡ "Sell personal assets (car, crypto)." (Triage Mode) → "When it’s life or death."

5. 🙅 "Ghost everyone and flee to Goa." (Future Wanted Poster) → "Not recommended."

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6.2.4 What Next:

"Action Steps:

• Calculate runway weekly—don’t get blindsided.

• Cut non-essentials FIRST (marketing, perks).

• Build a 3-month payroll buffer (even if it means slower growth)."

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🎯 Final Thought:

"Crisis management isn’t about avoiding fires—it’s about not letting them burn down the whole damn forest."