Letter from Investors to Startup Founders

Dear Founder,

Subject: Here’s What We Wish You Knew, please don’t promise Mercedes when you do not even have a Maruti. We’ve Seen It All-Don’t Try Selling Fog as Cloud”

We don’t sit on golden thrones, nor do we breathe fire like dragons. We love that twinkle in your eyes when you say “I have a disruptive idea. We are people; cautious, excited, often hopeful but also scarred from past burns. We want to believe in you, but belief without diligence is just blind faith. And blind faith in business is a recipe for disaster. Our skepticism has been earned, not inherited.

We love your energy and your pitch deck font choices (well, sometimes). But before you roll your eyes at our questions, let us confess: we’re not your villains. We’re just tired of being served stale samosas wrapped in glittery napkins. Yes, we’ve been duped before. That’s why our faces look like auditors, not cheerleaders, when you say, “Trust me, this will be a unicorn in 3 years.”

1. What We Look For & What We Really Want

We don’t want drama, we look for honesty first, numbers second. Tell us the story as it is, not as you wish it to be. We respect ambition, but we distrust exaggeration. We need clean, unpolished truth. Not the theatre of pitch decks with hockey-stick graphs that rise faster than IPL ticket prices. Your market can be huge and you claim to have cracked millions of client’s outreaches, reality could be that even your girlfriend ignores your WhatsApp forwards. Show us your niche, your edge, your proof. If your product works for “middle-class cat owners in Tier-1 cities who prefer organic litter,” say so proudly. At least we’ll believe you. Be proud of your niche. Sell to “vegans who love jackfruit in South Delhi.” That’s at least believable. This whole “India is my market” sorry, it’s not.

2. How We’ve Been Fooled Before and How We’ve Been Duped

Let’s share some scars (and laughs): One founder told us his “AI” startup had machine learning. Later we found the “algorithm” was his CHINTU. Another wanted to raise money for a “drone delivery company.” Later it was revealed that the drone/s were some college kid on a bike with delivery bags. A Smart SaaS startup claimed “10,000 active users.” It turned out 9,000 were Gmail IDs created from one IP Address.

Founders writing Pitch Deck as CVs for jobs are full of creative fiction with a side of Photoshop. Let’s be real: we’ve been lied to hundreds of times. We have seen Fudged revenue, inflated projections, fake customers and exaggerated CVs of Founding Team/s, you name it. Every investor has scars. Once bitten, twice shy.

3. What We Expect

We don’t need perfection; we need transparency. Diligence. Skin in the game. If you hide things upfront, the truth will come out later and then no contract, no lawyer, no PR spin can save the trust. If you’re burning cash faster than Diwali rockets, say so. If your co-founder is leaving after a nasty fallout, say so. If your customer base is only your batchmates, say so. We’re okay with imperfection. We’re not okay with misrepresentation. We’d rather invest in a leaky bucket we can fix than in a “golden tank” that’s actually cardboard painted yellow.

4. Founders vs Investors – The Tug of War; The Founder’s Expectations vs Ours

We know your dream and you expect fast money, minimal questions, and belief in your dream so that you can get a Forbes photo with your arms crossed. We do have Our dream: a stable business that doesn’t collapse like Jenga in the first wind. We expect responsibility, patience, and a clear plan. That’s why we probe, question, delay, and say no. It’s not arrogance. It’s memory The truth is, neither side can win alone. If you treat us like an ATM, we walk away. If we treat you like an INTERN, you fail. Only when both sides win does the startup truly scale. A startup succeeds only when both egos are slightly bruised but the company grows fatter than both.

Remember we are looking for arranged marriage. Both sides come in with expectations, both sides get mildly disappointed and yet, when it works, magic happens! The startup grows, the investor smiles, and both sides show off at weddings!

5. Why It Takes Time

Raising money takes time. It should. Yes, diligence takes months. Not because we love paperwork, but because we’ve already kissed frogs that promised to be princes. Listen Smarty, If you have spend 2 years perfecting your pitch’s allow us 2 months to check if your balance sheet. Note, we’re not sadists, promise. We’re just survivors of too many heartbreaks

6. Red Flag’s in Founder’s Pitch

6.1 Saying “we are another Google in the making.

6.2 Calling your company “pre-revenue but post-valuation.

6.3 Claiming your CAC is going to be zero because everyone needs this. That does not happen even your girlfriend didn’t love you without some effort, boss.

6.4 Claimed to have pivoted whereas there no traction.

Closing (Hopeful, Forward Looking)

Dear Founder, stop auditioning and stop pitching like applying for a job with a fake resume. We’re not HR. We’re your potential partners. Tell us your truth; the messy, unfiltered, work-in-progress truth. We want you to succeed. We want to back your dream, not your drama. Be upfront, be diligent, and treat us not as cheque books but as partners. Then you’ll find we’re not here to slow you down, we’re here to make sure you go the distance. We’ll forgive your flaws. We won’t forgive your fiction.

Bring us your messy, imperfect, half-built truth and we’ll bring you our money, our networks, and our sleepless nights.

With equal parts of love and caution,

Sincerely,

The Investor Community

Bruised Many Times, Made Wiser by Fake Founders AND Still Hopeful